COMFORTABLY NUMB.

DISCLAIMER: This article is not inspired by Mr. Anna Hazare. In fact, it is a product of a feeling, or rather, the lack of it on not being able to get inspired by him. The timing may well be called clichéd. But I cannot help it. I have been “not feeling” things for a really long time- just like all of you. I am NOT a social activist. I just am comfortably numb within my boundaries of the daily life. So I am not really to be blamed, am I?

When did I first encounter corruption? It goes back to my last of the counted days at a state-run college from where I had to withdraw my certificates. Some people had advised my father to pay a few hundred rupees to the requisite person so that the process goes off smoothly. My first response, sparked off by a decade of “Moral Science” lectures at school was- “Why should I pay him to do something that is his duty?”  

Papa replied-“Don’t you want the formalities to be completed as the earliest? Besides, there’s nothing unusual to it. Government offices don’t work any other way. Bachchi ho abhi, duniya nahi dekhi hai. Dheere dheere samjhogi!”

Without going into the details of whether or not I paid the bribe to get my certificates (How can you expect me to fuel corruption? I am as clean as all the Governments of this country have been. All of us are, aren’t we?), I will proceed to how many things we simply don’t react to and take it acceptable sometimes as the universal norms of working of the society, just Government offices. In the last few years, my landline at home has been dysfunctional for more than half of the time. I may not be the only victim of BSNL’s apathy. Most of the times their response is not prompt unless and until…you know what! So finally we decided to get rid of it, given that all the family members are now comfortable with their cellphones. No wonder BSNL’s revenues have seen a drastic dip in the last few years (ET 8^th April 2011) .A Raja cannot be responsible for it. He was too busy (not) auctioning the 2G spectrum. I don’t even blame him for the biggest scam in the history of this nation. The matter is sub judice, you see. And I indeed feel sorry for the loss of his close aide too.

I had applied for a passport in November, 2009. If all goes well, i.e., the enquiries take place in time, a lucky chap can expect to get his passport in six months time. Did I say lucky? Well yes, I did. Because you have to be lucky to get it in six months when I haven’t got it in even thrice the time period. “Time period” is the word. You see, since high school we all have been studying T=2π(l/g)^(0.5) . Little did we know that greater the “acceleration” due to “gravity”, lesser the time period- be it the SP Office, University office, or the Regional Transport Office , the Electricity office, the PWD, the Block and so on and so forth. The only pre-requisite is that the accelerating force should be strong enough! Are you afraid in passing a few crisp green pieces of paper from  beneath the table? Then you’ve got to sip Mountain Dew and tell yourself “Dude,darr ke aagey jeet hai !”

Nowadays you don’t even have to pass the crisp notes from beneath the table. For the past few weeks, people in Tamil Nadu have been receiving thousand rupee notes as humble tokens of gratitude in between the pages of their morning newspapers. And you thought newspapers were not worth more than five bucks! Did you ever visit a marriage ceremony without the bride and the groom. I strongly recommend you visit one, because only then can you find how ambulances steer currency notes and booze through the busy traffic just to give you the pleasant surprise of finding at least a few hundred rupees beneath your pattal,or plate or a banana leaf (depending upon the state to which the bride and groom belong), as return gifts. But such marriage parties are held only once in five years, or may be less, which in turn depends on you- know- what.

How patiently we wait for Wikileaks to release the next cable on India when the rat can be smelled in our own backyard. My backyard back home sure as hell does smell foul. But alas! What can I do when the entire colony dumps its garbage in the vacant plot there? My senses have become used to it, what I call “comfortably numb”- to the dump, the drains, the potholes, the power cuts, the leaky water supply pipes. OOPS! By the way, I hope Wikileaks gives a part of its revenue towards the noble cause of a better, non-leaky water supply in our towns, cities and villages. Because summer is in and the crisis of water is just as deep as the slumber of our governing bodies and did I hear the name of a scheme called Jawaharlal Nehru Urban Renewal Mission? I had seen Chacha Nehru’s portrait with some quote on the need for better public infrastructure in a reputed national daily a few years ago. After that, all I have seen of JNURM is a few city buses. That in no way connotes that a blue turbaned old man and his boss are not committed to serve the country. Indeed , they are serving thousands of faceless names who enroll daily into the NREGA for a minimum of 100 days of work per year. Good Work! Kudos to the Great Indian Taxpayer for being generous enough to part with his/her hard earned money to support the labourer who he/ she can never know even if he/she wants to. I never said people could be conjured out of thin air. That has been done mostly with bank accounts, companies… After all, Switzerland isn’t just synonymous with Cartier and other haute horlogerie.

I am flesh and blood and soul within(?). I know I am- so are all of you. And as I write this article, I tell myself “Load na le, lite le lite!”. Sure getting stressed out is futile. So I amuse myself by writing this piece of bakar  and updating my Facebook status, profile picture and sharing a few links. Activism is fashion after all, and I don’t want to be called unfashionable.

How can I not be moved by Mr. Anna Hazare- does it haunt me?

Naah…I am just (un)comfortably numb.